Santa Claus and God

When I was little I worshiped Santa Claus and the whole Christmas season. 

Then my parents told me he didn't exist. They acted like they were good at keeping secrets, and that it was funny, and thought I was grown up enough to stop thinking of childish fantasies.

And I was like, "fuck you."

Now switch the viewpoint of me and my parents, and you've got my perspective on God. 

I want to tell my parents that he doesn't exist, that i'm good at keeping secrets, that it's funny, and that they need to grow up.

But I don't want to grow up. I want to believe in Santa, and in God. I want to continue with my fantasies. 

Death Pt 2 - a letter to my dog

Youre one of the stupidest creatures ive ever known, but i still feel like you deserve heaven. I hope you know that im sorry for not feeding or petting you sometimes or for pushing you out of the way. Im sorry you couldnt see the beauty of the world outside of our backyard. I wish i could have asked you what its like. you were laying out on the grass, sick as a dog (sorry) and i wanted so bad to talk to you. I wanted to tell you it would be ok. I wanted to tell you all my problems. Then before i got the chance you were gone.
Im scared to die. You probably didnt even know death was possible. Time is going by so quickly; youve been around most of my life and now i cant help but wonder when its my turn. Im even more scared i wont be remembered. That people will not recognize my name and teenagers will kick over my gravestone.
I dont know why im telling you this. Maybe since you have experienced death youll understand but maybe youre just a dumb old dog.
see you in a bit.

Death

its fall
the color of the leaves is changing fast
and so is my opinion on things
god isnt the same guy i once thought he was
hes keeping a lot of secrets lately
almost as if he has something to hide
hes hiding my grandpa
and hes hiding my dog but i know hes hiding more than that
he tells us theres a place called heaven
to make dying seem like a privilege
but hes got to be lying because death doesnt feel right
and death wasnt real until my grandpa died.
everyone at church said "hes in a better place now"
but its a place theyve never been
how can you give a restaurant 5 stars
if youve only heard of it
the same people keep telling me whats right and wrong
without giving an explanation
this population is brainwashed by the way weve been raised
i try to be open minded
i look for truth but never find it
soon the leaves will fall off the trees
even sooner ill get old
and god will hide me from you with the rest of his secrets