In twelve days my drivers license will tell you that im eighteen years old

when i was a kid, if you accidentally said the H-word
then you better plan on going there
if you played with toys you were normal
and if you scraped your knee it was ok to cry

when i was a kid, my favorite color was blue and my favorite food was pizza.
i guess everyones favorite color was blue and everyones favorite food was pizza
at recess i played four square \
my saturdays were filled with cereal and cartoons
the world was a jungle gym waiting to be played on.
some nights i slept in my parents room because i was scared of the dark
spiders kidnappers thunderstorms
if things got scary, i held my moms hand and knew everything would be alright.
everything was alright.

at 8 years old i hadnt sinned enough for my parents to say "im dissapointed in you"
all i had to do to make them proud was to be baptized
now they want me to baptize, and two years of dedication
might be enough to make them proud again.

when i was a kid, i treated september 11th like an action movie
because back then bad things only happened on TV
back then it was so easy to cry all i had to do was scrape my knee
but i ran out of tears when the kid in my art class
celebrated new years by killing himself.
bandaids can fix a scraped knee but there is no bandaid long enough
to reach into the skies and pull him back into existence
and when you put one on a casket it only helps seal it.

a year later my neighbor bled enough tears on her husbands grave to flood the cemetery
and almost float her husband back into her arms.
he left behind a 9 year old daughter she was just a kid
this jungle gym isnt fun to play on anymore

i just wish i had time to watch star wars again
when yoda died i turned off the movie.

mom, can i sleep in your room one more time?
hold my hand and lead me through the world, things are getting scary again.
tell me not to be scared
tell me its just pretend
because i want to be a kid again.